Be A Role Model      Know The Signs      Children Are Victims      What Children Learn      For Parents of Teens
Rape and Sexual Abuse information in .doc or PDF

Teach Non-Violence By Example
Children learn from their parents! Be a good role model for your child.

• Show respect for your child's feelings, thoughts, and suggestions.
• Make your child feel loved with praise, and with hugs and kisses.
• Keep your word.
• Encourage creativity in children. Ask questions that will stimulate their curiosity and imagination.
• Show appreciation for your child's efforts.
• Stay involved. Know what's going on in your child's life.
• Discipline fairly, firmly, and with love. Use non-violent methods of discipline.
• Expect the best, from your child and from yourself.

Return to top of page

Be Aware Of The Signs

Children traumatized by domestic violence may exhibit symptoms such as :

• serious problems with temper tantrums
• continual fighting at school or between siblings
• lashing out at objects, inside or outside of the home
• treating pets cruelly or abusively
• threatening younger sister or brother with violence For instance, "You get over here with my teddy bear or I'll kill you. I'll slice you into little pieces with a knife"
• attempting to get attention through hitting, kicking or choking
• modeling after dad--"Monkey see, monkey do"
• with girls, withdrawal, signs not so obvious
• occasional cringing if you raise your arm

Return to top of page

Children Are Victims, Too

Even if your children are not being physically abused, if they are living in a violent environment they are affected in many ways. Children who witness domestic violence may feel:

• Powerless
• Confused
• Bad
• Helpless
• Angry
• Self-blaming
• Anxious
• Guilty about loving the abusive parent
• Guilty about not protecting abused parent
• Worried about the future
• Worried about the possible loss of a parent
• Insecure
• Hopeless
• Divided loyalty
• Numb

Return to top of page

What Children Learn From Domestic Violence

• Other people are responsible for my behavior
• I am responsible for other people’s behavior
• Men have the right to control women
• Violence is an appropriate way to solve problems
• My mom is to blame for my dad’s violence
• The violence is my mom’s fault
• Women have no rights
• My mom can’t protect me
• Nothing is safe
• Domestic violence is normal
• Intimidation is the way to get what I want
• Other people have the right to abuse me
• My dad’s violence is my fault
• It’s OK to abuse my mom

Return to top of page

For Parents of Teens

Your teen needs you to:

• Listen
• Model strength, openness, trust, and cooperation
• Respect intelligence
• Value teens’ fears
• Respect teen desire to be independent
• Provide a clear, understandable conceptual framework to aid in problem solving
• Provide options
• Prevent rudeness, judging (especially about appearance), lecturing, attitudes of disrespect
• Emphasize local community information, services, and networks
• Understand systematic mistreatment that young people receive in this adult-defined world and correct that mistreatment
• Avoid victim blaming statements
• Avoid reaffirming sex-role stereotypes
• Believe in the severity of the abuse
• Acknowledge the role of power and control in abusive relationships, and how authority figures can replicate that role.
• Validate the victim’s concerns

Return to top of page

The information on this website is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice.