WHAT IS ABUSE?
Pre-battering violence: verbal abuse, hitting objects, throwing objects, breaking objects, and making threats. When abusers hit or break objects or make threats, almost 100% resort to battering.
Beginning levels of violence: pushing, grabbing, restraining.
Moderate levels of violence : slapping, pinching, kicking, pulling out clumps of hair.
Severe levels of violence : choking, beating with objects (sticks, ball bats, bed slats, etc...), use of weapons, and rape. One in three women in a battering relationship are raped. There are two kinds of rape in domestic violence--one, with weapons; and two, she submits out of fear that if she were to say "No" he would get angry and beat her.
OUTWARD SYMPTOMS OF ABUSE
In general, women who are abused physically are often isolated. Their partners tend to control their lives to a great extent as well as verbally degrade them. Some examples follow:
- the woman mentions not being able to use the telephone
- she is forbidden from seeing friends unless he is along
- the man has exclusive control over all money and household financial matters
- she is not allowed in the decision making process at home
- she is kept so busy caring for him or for his family that she has no time for her own friends or interests
- he won't let her learn to drive, go to school, get a job
- she is limited in her freedom as a child would be. For example, "Go to the store, get milk and come straight home. It should take you 15 minutes"
- look for self-esteem, poor self-concept. The woman speaks very poorly of herself. She is unable to make eye contact, always looks away or at the ground when talking
- many times women complain of non-specific aches and pains that are constant and recurring. These are stress related problems.
|
