Teen Dating Violence
Dating violence is the physical, emotional and/or verbal abuse of one partner by the other partner in a current or former dating relationship. Abusive behavior is any act carried out by one partner aimed at hurting or controlling the other. Dating violence happens in male/femalerelationships as well as in lesbian and gay relationships.
A violent relationship means more than being hit by the person who claims to love or care about you. Violence is about power and control. When someone uses abuse and violence against you, it is always part of a larger pattern to try and control you.
Even though most people think that violence in relationships happens only between married persons, the same kind of violence also happens between people who are dating regardless of their sexual orientation. Even if you are not being hurt physically, verbal and emotional abuse are just as painful and often lead to physical violence.
Violent acts include:
Emotional Abuse - harms the person's self esteem or causes shame. Examples: repeated lies; broken promises; withholding affection; jealousy so extreme that it keeps a partner away from friends or interests;insults and put-downs; threats against a person's safety; controlling a person's every move, including how to dress, what to eat, where to go;
Physical Abuse - causes physical pain or injury. Examples: punching, kicking, or slapping,shaking, pushing or grabbing hard enough to cause discomfort; attacking with a knife, gun or other weapon; any physical act that is unwanted or hurtful - even tickling or hugging if it is unwanted;
Sexual Abuse - is any kind of unwanted sexual advance or contact. It can include everything from unwelcome sexual comments to kissing to intercourse. Forced sexual intercourse between two people who know each other is called "date rape."
In any abusive relationship, the victim is often afraid to leave or end the relationship. Some of the reasons for this include:
Fear that a partner will threaten to hurt him or herself if the other decides to leave.
Fear that the abuser will make good on threats to hurt the victim if s/he decides to leave.
Fear that the violence will get worse if the partner decides to leave.
Concern about losing friends or social status if the relationship ends.
Fear that parents will react violently if they are aware of the abuse.
For more information, see this helpful website:
Love is Not Abuse
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